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Robin
page fifteen of etiolated. text: in college i learned about bdsm from my boyfriend. on school breaks i traveled 800 miles south to spend time with cows ... and the rancher, if we completed his chores. four panels. a sketch of four cows, a barn, a house, and a truck. a screengrab from bad dragon toys in 2015. two figures kissing in the front seats of a car, seen from the back seat of the car. a text conversation reading "can't wait to see you / i miss you, babe / i miss you, too. have you role-played before?". the last section of this row is a small drawing of a young man playing a video game while a figure kneels between his legs, presumably to give oral sex. a large drawing of a figure in bondage, blindfold over bobbed hair, a chest harness around large breasts, bound hands, and feet parted with a spreader bar. a silhouetted figure places their hand between the bound figure's legs. text reads: he and i were raised to abstain from having sex before getting married and we grew into "everything but" teens: everything but vaginal penetration with a penis. my curious boyfriend had found out online about bondage, sadism, non-humanoid dildos, and erotic non-human art. i knew i wanted SOMETHING different from the church's idea of marriage. i knew i enjoyed what my boyfriend and i tried. i enjoyed intimacy grown custom to each person and relationship, on my time. the last row of the page begins with the words: during one visit my boyfriend revealed why i sometimes felt uncomfortable with him. a small illustration shows a man in a bill cap driving a truck seen from the cab passenger seat. the man says "women only get paid less b'cus they don't ask for more". the next panel is a skeleton waving a red flag next to the word "incorrect". middle panel says: dr i---a says someone's experience with autism is largely determined by their first doctor. who they are. how they interact with autism. the last panel says: this is also true of sexuality. fraught experience is still data. now i knew what i wanted: intimate erotic touch. between the words is an outline of a figure with empty data boxes above and around.
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