![page 20 of etiolated. first panel: a wooden fence and gate with "therapy since 2018" painted underneath. next panel says "classmate back in childhood ballet? friend and crush". "and" is in a different color. three figures with hair in buns stretch their limbs at a ballet bar. next panel says "my fascination with the high school lesbian couple: curiosity and recognition". "curiosity and recognition" is written as filled-in blanks. two figures walk. the taller has short hair and large earrings and a skirt. she has her arm over the shorter's shoulders. the shorter has draped her wrist over the taller's extended arm. she has long hair and wears a skirt. next panel: an emotion wheel. disgust passes through fetish into arousal. rage into focus. curiosity into fear. ecstasy into depression. text panels read "i can capture and translate my spiraling emotions to disipate [sic] distress. and examine my distress. i deconstruct my shame and learn that i'm pretty normal". next panel is a conversation between past robin and their therapist. the therapist sits in a chair, holds a notebook and pen, has long hair, and wears soft colors. robin has buzzed or no hair, wears an orange turtleneck, sits on a sofa, and has propped an arm over their backpack next to them on the sofa. the conversation reads: robin. i feel so disconnected from the people i love. i'm scared to meditate because i don't exist inside, but i'm exhausted and on edge and i don't enjoy drinking alcohol. therapist. you're insightful. you crave connection and community, and you're good at building them. let me know when you want a letter for transgender health services. robin. ...when i want a what, now? next panel is a scanned page from robin's journal at the time. based on a ritual format suggested in a chaos magick textbook, robin notes the emotional stages of enduring and releasing a craving for alcohol in an attack and over time as interpreted through a cathartic meditation on elephant lord ganesha. the notes lay clear the common mindsets and uses between occultism and psychology. the last panel first shows fig. i amazonian warrior with breast removed. robin has modified an image of a bronze sculpture to remove the breast on the archery warrior's bow-drawing side. second, an embroidery that reads "being ignorant of my gender kept me disassociated, unable to connect to myself or others". third, adolescent robin stands beside their mom to ask "mom, is something wrong with me?" mom replies "no... why would you ask?" past the conversation more text concludes "because even though i didn't know what "trans" and "gay" are, i knew i'm trans and queer and autistic". a small arrow points to the simple figure of robin indicating that robin is an egg.](https://i0.wp.com/robinselavy.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/2025_08_08_0s3_Kleki.png?fit=739%2C1024&ssl=1)
amazonian warriors of ancient greek myth were fearsome indeed, but the detail that the women archers cut off their right breasts to better draw and fire is not original to the old story. that means we can write the story now and create some excellent imagery.
“egg” in LGBTQIA+ slang (specifically trans) means that someone has not yet “cracked”, or figured out, that they are not the gender someone assigned them at birth. my egg cracked between 2019 and 2020.